Ego is the enemy full book summary
Namaskar readers, welcome to Nepal Reads. Today in this blog I will be writing about "Ego Is Enemy" book summary. It is one of the best book written on personal development. Although reading complete book is recommended, you can just go through the Ego is Enemy book summary if you don’t have time.
Our attitude mattes a lot related to how much success we will get
in our live. People who stay under attitude are called egoistic and bad person
so how we should behave and live our life?
Before going to exact definition,
just remember one thing that Attitude is a huge thing and small part of
Attitude is EGO. Example if Attitude is a Continent then Ego is just a small
country in it.
Attitude can be divided into two parts, first Right attitude and second
is Wrong attitude.
People get confused between ego and attitude because ego is
the part of wrong attitude but the best part is that you can be a good attitude
person without having an ego.
For example, Every Indian is an Asian, but every
Asian will be an Indian is not compulsory. Similarly, every Egoistic person will
for sure have Attitude, but person who has Attitude doesn't have Ego. Hence, even you should be a person who has attitude but you shouldn't be a person who is
egoistic or who has a bad attitude (wrong attitude).
Now let's talk about definition. Attitude shows what we think about
other things, how we feel and how we respond in any situation whereas Ego
always allow us to think about our self-esteem and self-importance.
For
example, person who has a Good Attitude will say No matter what happens I will
win whereas an egoistic person will say, that no matter what happens no one can
beat me.
Good attitude person will live life as if he is the king of the world whereas
Bad attitude person lives a life as if everyone is their slave and everyone
should always obey them.
Author Ryan has accomplished huge successes in a very young age. He was
only 19 years when he became the youngest executive in the Talent Management
Agency, who later did signing of big rock bands, and also did consulting for
many books which was sold in millions. At the age of 21, he was the marketing
director of an amazing Company AMERICAN PAREL. At the age of 25, he was also
the bestselling author. Everything was so perfect, but suddenly one day time
changed and everything changed in his life. He lost everything.
He started failing in his life, he made a tattoo in his hand. He
tattooed the most important reason of his failure in his hand so that he never
forget that and should never repeat that same mistake in his life and can avoid
such failure again.
The tattoo which he made in his hand was "EGO IS THE
ENEMY", because his ego was the main and the most important reason for his
failure and that reason he never wanted to forget.
Ryan defines Ego as an
unhealthy belief which make us obsessed about self-importance. Ryan says that
ego is something which converts our Confidence to Arrogance. Ego is that
dangerous thing which ruins or destroys our long term goals by just giving us
short term satisfaction, and by making us feel superior from others just for
short time and such ego is not at all right.
Author says that every person in their lives always stays in one
stage out of three.
·
First stage is Aspiring.
·
Second is Succeeding.
·
Third is Failing.
First, either person is aspiring, means working on something in
order to achieve something in his life or wanted to become something in his
life. Second, either person has already achieved in his life, means he already
faced success. Third, either person is failing in his life or he is not able to
achieve anything huge in his life. Now the Problem is, the biggest problem or
the biggest obstacle which stands firm in front of us during all three stages
to defeat us is nothing but our OWN EGO.
Now let's see how EGO comes
between all three stages to destroy our goals.
First Aspiring stage, consider a boy who has seen a video related
to body building. He loved that video, hence he decided that he will for sure
become a bodybuilder no matter what happens. After deciding, he went to his
friends and start telling them about his decision. He says that from now on he
will do gym, he will have proper diet, will do cycling, jogging, will do
everything and become a bodybuilder. With such enthusiasm he joins gym and post
his first day workout pictures on social media pages by NO PAIN NO GAIN #WORKINGONMYDREAMS. With this he started showing off more than his actions. He
do less and show more. After few days his entire motivation goes down, and he
return to his normal life well this happens to many people and the reason for
this is EGO.
Our Ego always makes us think what others are thinking about us
therefore instead of taking maximum action for our goal completion, we started
doing easy things to impress others such has we started talking more, we start
uploading pictures on social media pages which in reality neither impress
others nor even allow us to complete our goals because in show off and talking
same resources are required which is needed to complete our actual goals, which
is our time, mental physical health /energy and our will power and mostly we
use all these and finish it just by showing off and talking. Hence author says
that it will be best if you avoid wasting your energy on talking and in
thinking about it all day, start using that same energy in taking action and in
completing your goals.
Second Succeeding stage. At age
18 Howard Hughes took the biggest decision. He gave money to his relatives and
bought 100 percent shares of his family business and became owner of an oil
drill bit company. This was the very bold decision because he wasn't much aware
about the business but still it proved to be the most brilliant move of his.
Hughes shifted that company from 1 million dollar to 1 billion dollar. He
became very successful but his overconfidence or can say his Ego destroyed his
success. His ego made his career the most embarrassing, the most dishonest and
waste career in the history.
The first huge Success of Hughes made him believe that he is very
talented and he can be successful in any business. Hence he get into Aviation field, film
making and in stock market, and in every field he faced a huge loss. In fact a
biographer has shown Hughes end life in his book like he was sitting in his favorite
chair naked, without taking care of his health, without bathing. He was fighting
with lawyers with investigators, investors by hiding his every wrong doings, so
that he doesn't lose his everything. Hughes Ego was the reason for his
embarrassing end even after getting success he failed miserably. Most of the
time when people get success, then their ego shift them from humble and
learning person to overconfident person about their capabilities therefore they
failed to maintain their success and hence they lose everything in their lives.
Third Failing. After many
scandals and 300 million loss, company gave two options to American Apparel
Founder Dove Chaney, first option to resign as A CEO From the company and to
work as Creative Consultant and for that he will get a good pay or salary, and
second to resign and completely leave the company. At that Time Dove rejected
both options and chose the third and the worst option, which was to FIGHT. He
filed a case against his company, he sue his company, instead of searching a
better CEO For a Company, and he made that company to reach to bankruptcy.
His ego didn't allow him to think better for his company instead he
destroyed his company as well as himself because after that case his life was
so devastated that he used to sleep on his friend couch because he was
bankrupt, had no money. Ego is something which never allow us to understand our
own shortcomings and faults just like an alcoholic who feels the whole world is
doing wrong with him. He himself does the worst for himself, without realizing
that he is the biggest enemy of himself. Similarly, when we fail to achieve
something, at that time instead of taking responsibility, our Ego starts making
excuses, starts blaming world and others. Our Ego blames and make excuses so
that our respect doesn't decrease. Hence we do everything but never realize our
mistakes and shortcomings because of which we fail to overcome it and fail to
get success and achievements in our lives.
Similarly in every stage ego never allow us to move forward in our
lives.
So now the question is if Ego is the biggest enemy then how to
defeat it?
So the best way through which you can fight with your ego is known
as plus minus equals to principle, which is taught by a great UFC fighter. He
says that anyone who wanted to become a great fighter should keep three people
along with them. First person who is better than him from whom he can learn,
second person who is less better than him to whom he can teach, and third
person who is as good as him to whom he can challenge and can grow. Similarly,
even you can fight with your every stage ego by using this principle.
Suppose if you are in aspiring
stage, then search a person who is as good as you, means who is equally
talented, and has equal goals like you. Such person can be your competitor who
always push you to do more than your limits, who will always challenge you and
grow you. When you will have such person with you, then you will not have time
to focus on other nor will you care about others because your focus will be on
competing and becoming better. Example, suppose if you want to do business then
be with people who also wants to do business like you. By this you will learn
from them and also work hard to become better than them.
Suppose if you are in succeeding stage then be with person who is
better than you, who is plus than you, who is far better and successful than
you because when success will get into your head at that time such person will
show you that you are still lacking behind. By this you will stay down to earth
and will not have ego and arrogance. You will generate humility in you which is
the biggest thing needed to defeat an ego. This plus person can be your mentor
or can be the person who is much more successful than you.
Third if you are in failing stage, then be with person who is
lesser than you means who is in minus, who has low achievements compare to you,
to whom you can teach things because maximum times. By teaching we came to know
about our mistakes, where we went wrong and where we can become better. When
you will be with people who has lesser achievements than you then your confidence
and positivity will always stay high which is really needed in this stage and
it will move you ahead in life.
Now an important side note, you must have notice that nowadays in
this world almost everyone is full or filled with Ego. Some have ego of their
success, some have an ego of their ancestral success. People are egoistic
because of their father and grandfathers achievements. If not success then
people has ego for their cast and religion, they fight for their cast and
religion. All these things are not allowing us to move ahead in life. Hence I
would not want you to take these things leniently, understand seriously that
yes ego is the real enemy. We together can fight with Ego enemy and can grow in
our lives so that can move towards mutual benefits. These were some powerful
knowledge from an amazing book ego is the enemy by RYAN HOLIDAY. Author has
shared some very amazing and useful information and knowledge in this book.
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